A father, divorce, and the 28 year heartbreak

•January 13, 2007 • 12 Comments

A good number of first marriages in the US end in divorce – around 50%. After divorce, most families with children end up with the mother as the custodial parent, and the father in a very limited non-custodial role.

My father is a pretty well-known jazz guitarist. He has chubby cheeks and a huge grin, just like me. We both wiggle our right legs if we sit for too long, and we both have big, loud laughs. We’re even both Tauruses. And, like him, I was a brilliant singer blessed with a great singing voice. I so dearly wanted to be an opera singer, a working musician, just like my father.

My mother wasn’t a fan of that idea, though. From a very young age, she enrolled me in a very serious ballet school with a pre-professional company track. Yet, I always had an interest in learning how to play guitar, or even bass (my grandfather also plays, but was always a hobbyist/fill-in player). Classical music and singing fascinated me, but it was pretty sometimes to get the support that I would need to make a career happen. Oh, she believed that I could do it. But she wasn’t going to be helping me along that much.

I remember when my father left home. I also remember the screaming, then cussing, and the stony silences that would follow their arguments. Those are the obvious memories.

The non-obvious ones? That strong women don’t need men. They don’t need romance. Creative people, musicians especially, are deadbeats. And, men will never, ever stick around- even if you love them.

Continue reading ‘A father, divorce, and the 28 year heartbreak’


When feminism and attractiveness collide

•January 8, 2007 • 4 Comments

OK…this whole thing about feminists needing to hide away with hairy armpits and uncut hair needs to DIE.

I found a really neat blog entry by candyposes, who is a nude model that actually got turned down for a job because she’s a feminist. What, does the photog think that she’s going to snap and plaster him with NOW stickers?

The new wave of feminism is still trying to decide if it stands for open sexuality and the frank appreciation of the female form, or if it stands for restriction, censure of our own drives for pleasure and appreciation, and glorification of sensuality. We need to come to a consensus. No wonder girls are confused with what they see in the media today!

There are so many conflicting messages. Look at the Paris Hiltons of the world. Look at them showing off their coochies to all and sundry, with no real reverence for what they have between their legs. Then, look at the other side…women who fight against the rights of sex workers, or deride exotic dancers, or call miniskirts slutty and degrading. Neither view helps, and the reluctance of the old garde to acknowledge the reality of the new hobbles feminism from really becoming a solid part of American society.

Anyway, visit candyposes’ site, Feminism Without Clothes. She’s got some lovely pics, and she’s very interesting.

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Gizmodo’s Top 10 Blogger Babes…ok, where are the men?!?!

•January 8, 2007 • Leave a Comment

It seems that the popular techie blog, Gizmodo, has stooped to appealing to geek lust. They have a pictorial of 10 female blog writers that are supposedly hawt!

Well, here’s an interesting to-do. First of all…where are the hot guys? Hey, I like man candy. I’m sure that a lot of Gizmodo’s readership like it, too, considering that it’s one of the most read blogs in the world. Second, unless the ladies are made of microchips, who the hell cares? Last I checked, Gizmodo wasn’t a rating site. It’s not “Hot or Not?”, nor is it an LJ rating group full of teens going, “Oooooh! Look at meee! Am I pretty?” They can open up a blog for geek chick love, or something, but this (albeit consensual) objectification of women in a tech blog is just plain silly. I say objectification, because…”WHERE ARE THE GUYS?!?!”

It’s always nice to be appreciated for your looks. I can understand why they would pose for this; it’s exposure for their work, and they get attention from it. Society isn’t made up of a bunch of nuns and priests. What I don’t understand is…WHERE ARE THE GUYS?!?!

The entry is here, if you want to look at their picks (and their pics).

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Loathsome dating site redux

•January 7, 2007 • 16 Comments

ETA: Here’s a recent pic.

Perhaps it was the cranberry juice talking. I think it was boredom, and a bit of masochism.

Whatever the story, I decided to peruse WealthyMen.com and HotEnough.org, pretty much for shits and giggles. After all, who would date one of the asses from these sites? This trial took place over about 4 days.

Continue reading ‘Loathsome dating site redux’

Letting Go: The Perils Of The Conscious Heart

•January 7, 2007 • 2 Comments

A wise woman of my acquaintance reminds me often that, “Isis, it’s hard to live consciously.” It is. It’s refreshing to open the mind and spirit, feeling energy pulse through you as you meditate. You see, deep, cleansing meditation is like opening the doors to the soul. It’s so amazing to be so connected to Source that you actually move with the energy running through you (this happens to me as I meditate). The day seems shorter, work seems more redeeming, and it feels as if nothing can keep you down.

The biggest problem with conscious, spiritual living, however, is the inevitable whacks that hit you every so often. Whacks like realizing that friends are not really friends, but simply acquaintances. Or, viewing pictures of a past lover that end up feeling like a kick in the stomach. When you’re living in spirit, and your energy is open and flowing…well, I think that you feel things in their purest form. There are no lies, then. The truth will out. You are Icarus, whether you like it or not.

Continue reading ‘Letting Go: The Perils Of The Conscious Heart’

Burlesque dance is dying…can we make it new and fabulous again!?

•January 6, 2007 • Leave a Comment

First off, my moment of star gossip…Dita von Teese filed for divorce from Manson today. Shocker! She’s got a brain, though, so she’ll be okay. Supposedly, that crap-ass actually ditched her out in favor of his booze, and left her alone on Christmas. That’s just ugly. I hope he gets what he deserves. It seems that she’s not asking for spousal support. She’s a better woman than I. 😛

The point of this post, however, is to comment on burlesque. Hearing about the divorce made me think about burlesque dance, and how it’s morphed into something that doesn’t seem to have much substance. Looking at the biggies of today such as Dita Von Teese, Julie Atlas, and Dirty Martini, I’m not wholly convinced of the creative merits of what I see. I think that the predominate resistance to change that I see can make burlesque really tired and boring.

Continue reading ‘Burlesque dance is dying…can we make it new and fabulous again!?’

Blog Carnival Against Sexual Violence…

•January 2, 2007 • Leave a Comment

There’s an EXCELLENT blog carnival hosted at abyss2hope. My entry, 41 Things: Intuition, and The Gift Of Personal Safety, is in the “Solutions” section. Go check it out…